Spoilers ahead!
Naturally, Tyrion appeals
to his trusty mercenary mate Bronn, only to discover, when he arrives
in the cell draped in new finery, that he is engaged to be married to
Lollys Stockworth, as arranged by the taking-care-of-all-loose-ends
Cersei. It's a deal that will reward Bronn with all the gold he could
ever need as well as putting in a position to be one horse-riding
accident away from the inheritance of a castle. Bronn, in true form,
regretfully declines. He's got it made, would you throw that away for a
chance to be disemboweled by a giant?
The Hound and Arya
(were people always pronouncing it as 'Ah-Ya', did I mishear it all this time?) take in some local
sites: burning huts, bleeding peasants, inept but talkative bounty
hunters, and then have a chance to wax philosophical about the nature of
nothingness.
Jon Snow and his band of men return to the
Wall after their attack on Craster's Keep two weeks ago. They are
triumphant, but no one seems to give a damn, preferring instead to
behave as though nothing happened. If we're breaking it down, you could
say that the whole Craster's Keep sequence only served as a way for Jon
to get Ghost back. Otherwise it's served very little purpose - the
scenes at the Wall in this episode could easily have been from episodes
way back in the series - everyone at the Wall dislikes Jon, won't listen
to his advice about the safety of the wall or Mance's impending attack,
and they all laugh when he and Sam get assigned top-of-the-wall night
watch for a month. I thought he at least had some buddies now.
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Khaleesi gets her
rocks off with Daario Naharis, because she's the Queen and can whatever
she damn pleases. Also, wild flowers. Then she sends him back to Yunkai
to retake the city.
Brienne and Pod, taking a pit
stop on their travels happen upon the inn that Arya's old friend Hot Pie
is working in. Obviously starved of conversation, he drags up a stool
and weaves a tale of meat and gravy until Brienne drops the name
'Stark'. Thanks to her trusty demeanor, Hot Pie decides he can confide
in her about the last-time-he-spoke-to-her-she-wasn't-dead AhYa
Stark. He also baked her a fresh Direwolf biscuit. Which looked really
tasty, but might be a bit sodden and crumbly by the time it actually
makes it to its intended recipient. Those forest trails look pretty dank.
With
Pod's acute understanding of who's married to who, and who hates who,
he summises that if ArYa is alive, she'd head for her Aunty's place. In
which case, so might Sansa. And so Brienne and Pod decide to take the
road to the Eyrie, in what may be a quick trip (a la Jon's trip to Craster's Keep) or a long one (a la ArYa
and Hound's trips everywhere). Here's hoping for the latter- with
plenty of wit and japery! Sansa's a shoe-in for the Lamour role, but I can't figure out who the
straight man is for the Hope & Crosby roles though...
The
suave Prince Oberyn comes to see Tyrion in his cell, in the dead of
night, to tell him of the first time the two of them met. It's another
fine scene in an episode full of them. Oberyn recalls coming to King's
Landing not long after Tyrion's birth, when all talk was of the
Lannister 'Monster' that had just been born. Tyrion tears up as he is
told of Cersei's early cruelty, torturing what was really 'just a baby'.
A man with an obvious penchant for the dramatic, he stands, takes a torch from
the wall to adequately illuminate his solemnity and declares- 'I will be your champion' (maybe Tyrion would
think he was joking if he couldn't see his serious face in the
dark). Tyrion has a look of
barely uncontained relief, gratitude and exhaustion. Also hope. I think I
saw hope in there. That's some comprehensive, subtle work from Peter
Dinklage.
At the Eyrie, Sansa takes some time to build a
mini snow fort of Winterfell before the entitled little Robin comes
prancing in and tries to install a moon door in the top of the master
house. And like so many renovators to follow him, he totally screws it
up and kicks down what was already there. Sansa gives him a mighty slap,
which sends him running off for mum. Littlefinger has been watching, of
course, but isn't perturbed, he thinks the slap is long overdue.
Sansa asks Littlefinger why he really killed Joffrey, and his reply 'wouldn't you want revenge on those who hurt the ones you love', is, in the world of Game of Thrones, a pretty damned smooth line. He makes his move and kisses Sansa for reals. But of course this is the busiest courtyard in the Vale, and Lysa is also watching. Naturally the confrontation takes place at everybody's favourite OHS hazard, the Moon Door. The usual hysteria ensues, as Lysa threatens to cast Sansa out to her demise until Littlefinger comes to calm things down. He promises, swears even, to send young Sansa away. And then, in the least unexpected death of the entire series, Littlefinger pushes Lysa through the door. And Robin didn't even get to see her fly.
Yet
another stellar episode, made up chiefly of conversational moments of
reflection. There was a little in the way of dramatic action, but a lot
in the way of character motivation.
Jaime sits with
Tyrion in his cell, chastising him for his reckless decision to throw
away his chance at survival. Tyrion explains that after hearing Shae
twist and distort the truth about their relationship he couldn't take it
anymore, and besides, he had the pleasure of watching Tywin's plans
fall apart.
But they didn't fall apart like I thought they would. Not at all, in fact. I had assumed we were headed for a Jaime vs Bronn showdown, a battle that would pit two well acquainted swordsmen against each other with the future of the Lannister name in peril! But nope- Cersei (being the accuser in the case) has chosen The Mountain to be her champion. He is introduced in a comically ridiculous scene of violence, cutting threw some poor, helpless prisoners.
As such, Jaime can't be Tyrion's champion because his left-handed swordsman skills are so poor he "couldn't beat a stable-boy" (I'm assuming he's not lying at this moment, but I'd gotten the impression he'd started getting his groove back? Then again, grooving against a Mountain probably wouldn't do much good).
 |
| After this, he'll relax at the Korova milkbar |
But they didn't fall apart like I thought they would. Not at all, in fact. I had assumed we were headed for a Jaime vs Bronn showdown, a battle that would pit two well acquainted swordsmen against each other with the future of the Lannister name in peril! But nope- Cersei (being the accuser in the case) has chosen The Mountain to be her champion. He is introduced in a comically ridiculous scene of violence, cutting threw some poor, helpless prisoners.
As such, Jaime can't be Tyrion's champion because his left-handed swordsman skills are so poor he "couldn't beat a stable-boy" (I'm assuming he's not lying at this moment, but I'd gotten the impression he'd started getting his groove back? Then again, grooving against a Mountain probably wouldn't do much good).
Naturally, Tyrion appeals
to his trusty mercenary mate Bronn, only to discover, when he arrives
in the cell draped in new finery, that he is engaged to be married to
Lollys Stockworth, as arranged by the taking-care-of-all-loose-ends
Cersei. It's a deal that will reward Bronn with all the gold he could
ever need as well as putting in a position to be one horse-riding
accident away from the inheritance of a castle. Bronn, in true form,
regretfully declines. He's got it made, would you throw that away for a
chance to be disemboweled by a giant? |
| Without appropriate hiking gear, they could latch on before you know it. |
Khaleesi gets her
rocks off with Daario Naharis, because she's the Queen and can whatever
she damn pleases. Also, wild flowers. Then she sends him back to Yunkai
to retake the city. |
| I literally have tonnes of great ideas. |
The
suave Prince Oberyn comes to see Tyrion in his cell, in the dead of
night, to tell him of the first time the two of them met. It's another
fine scene in an episode full of them. Oberyn recalls coming to King's
Landing not long after Tyrion's birth, when all talk was of the
Lannister 'Monster' that had just been born. Tyrion tears up as he is
told of Cersei's early cruelty, torturing what was really 'just a baby'.
A man with an obvious penchant for the dramatic, he stands, takes a torch from
the wall to adequately illuminate his solemnity and declares- 'I will be your champion' (maybe Tyrion would
think he was joking if he couldn't see his serious face in the
dark). Tyrion has a look of
barely uncontained relief, gratitude and exhaustion. Also hope. I think I
saw hope in there. That's some comprehensive, subtle work from Peter
Dinklage.  |
| Mountain air is said to soothe the nerves. |
Sansa asks Littlefinger why he really killed Joffrey, and his reply 'wouldn't you want revenge on those who hurt the ones you love', is, in the world of Game of Thrones, a pretty damned smooth line. He makes his move and kisses Sansa for reals. But of course this is the busiest courtyard in the Vale, and Lysa is also watching. Naturally the confrontation takes place at everybody's favourite OHS hazard, the Moon Door. The usual hysteria ensues, as Lysa threatens to cast Sansa out to her demise until Littlefinger comes to calm things down. He promises, swears even, to send young Sansa away. And then, in the least unexpected death of the entire series, Littlefinger pushes Lysa through the door. And Robin didn't even get to see her fly.
Two weeks to episode eight.
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