Game of Thrones Season 4: Episode 6 recap

Spoilers ahead!

Another great episode this week, full of drama, drama, drama and a few notable firsts: We finally see the epic city of Braavos, we see the Theon's sister Yara and the Ironborns in action and we see how the justice system, such as it is, functions in Westeros (spoiler: not so well).

Things open as Stannis and Davos enter the epic city of Braavos, a city much spoken of and which lives up to its legendary reputation. The mouth of its bay is overseen by a huge statue of a soldier triumphantly holding a broken sword to the sky, which tells you a lot of things, most notably: this place takes shit seriously.

I thought cleaning the house was a shitty job.

As Iron Banker #1, Mark Gatiss (of the amazing League of Gentlemen, all of whom should have recurring roles in GoT, IMO) is unmoved by Stannis and Davos' case because their numbers just don't add up. But when Davos pulls out his prop of 'no fingers', he actually convinces the league of Braavosi bankers that not only is Stannis a man of his word, but a better long-term bet. Because, let's face it- Tywin Lannnister is the only one who knows what he's doing in King's Landing. When he's gone, who you gonna call?

Then we get to see the Yara and the Ironborns in action at the Dreadfort, staging an attack impressive in both its initial covert nature and its incredible swiftness (seriously, they're there for like 5 minutes- and they've been sailing since last season), until they reach the kennels only to discover that the good, loyal Reek won't leave his cage. And so, once again, doing the honourable thing in Westeros is shown to be a bad idea.

It's OK to be proud.

Following this, the bloodythirsty, kinky sex-loving Ramsay (do you suppose he got those bloody cuts all over his torso from the love-making, or his sword fighting on his way to the kennels. Ambiguity is a harsh mistress!) has a cunning plan. Rewarding his loyal Reek with a bath (and the most threatening bath sponge you've even seen), he starts to lay out his next cunning plan - reprogram Reek into a faux-Theon and help stage a coup on the strategic stronghold Moat Cailin. By my reckoning we should see this take place around about mid-season five. It's something ludicrous to look forward to.

For the dragon on the go.

Back in the lush grazing lands of Meereen, Khaleesi's dragons are running amok, roasting goats and leaving the herders with nothing but a pile of charcoaled remains. He appeals to Khaleesi (I'm not the only one who thought the guy was going to unfold the blanket to reveal his son's bones, am I?) and is promised restitution to the value of three times his herd. He exits, stage right. How easy is ruling? It's good to be the Queen.

Next supplicant is the son of one of Meereen's noble masters, appealing to have his father's body removed from the human signposts outside the city so that he may have a proper burial. The poor Queen is a little shaken - this one is a little stickier than crispy goatmeat. She eventually agrees - yes, he can bury his father. He exits, grateful. Only another 212 more supplicants to go. It's boring to be the Queen.

Who makes all these things happen anyway? Do you suppose there's some sort of admin guy hanging around the cloisters, taking notes on the Queen's decrees and making arrangements for them to be actioned? Is there are a whole team? And how long does it take? If there's one thing I know about admin, it's that it takes ages.

For the second half of the episode it's all steadily ratcheting drama. The new King's Council meets for the first time, with Oberyn complaining that it's too early and Varys dropping news bombs all over the place. The Hound has been spotted killing Lannister soldiers so Tywin decides to place a 100 Silver Stag bounty on his head. (Which pricks up Oberyn's ears- perhaps a handsome bounty will make the Mountain go looking for his brother and give Oberyn a chance for revenge, without owing a debt to Tywin?).

There's also news that 'the Targaryen girl' has taken up residence in Meereen with her unsullied, her second sons and her 'three baby dragons' who 'get bigger every year'. Tywin decides that something must be done, and Varys' 'little birds' are ones to organise it. He sends the just-thrilled-to-be-included Mace Tyrell to fetch his quill and paper so that he can prepare instructions...

[Insert juvenile caption joke here.
Something to do with going to the toilet, probably]

And then we move on to the big show that is Tyrion's trial, and get a proper look at how the justice system works in Westeros: arbitrarily! King Tommen recuses himself from proceedings, thus leaving Grandpa Tywin to run things as he sees fit. Consequently, we get devastating, but circumstantial, testimony from those Tyrion has crossed (Ser Meryn, Cersei), insulted (Grand Maester Pycelle) or left in a vicarious position (Varys, who, we all hope, is playing some angle that allows him to save Tyrion??).


It's all pretty bad, and Tyrion treats it with the disdain it deserves. Even Jaime sees through the nonsense and appeals to his Father with deal: Let Tyrion live, and I'll quit the King's Guard and give you some grandkids to carry on the Lannister name. And before Jaime even realises it: it's a done deal! So that was ol' Tywin's strategy all along - he gets to exile one embarrassing son to the wall as penalty for Joffrey's assassination and gets his other son to father some legitimate children. Tywin always sees the angles.

And so it's all tidily stitched up until the Surprise Witness™ appears. Tyrion's one true love, Shae, seeming to genuinely be a woman scorned (which is better than the fate I guessed had befallen her), delivers nuggets of truth coated in the hot sauce of the opposite-of-context. It's heart-breaking.

[Side note: Where did they get this crowd? In a city that sees frequent acts of attack and execution, they sure did shock easy at the mention of the phase "I was his whore". Must be conservative voters.]

The whole testimony leaves Tyrion shattered and with nothing left to lose, so he lets rip at the crowd for their short memories and foolish beliefs (maybe we can book him to deliver the same speech here in Australia when our mining reserves run out). 

But he won't admit to murdering Joffrey (maybe it was the pigeons), so, as the only act of retaliation left open to him, he demands a trial by combat! The crowd does nuts! But what does this mean? I forget the rules. Does a volunteer have to fight him, or do the judges select someone? And someone can fight on his behalf, yes? Like the last time he faced this problem at the Eyrie. So who will it be? It's got to be Jaime vs Ser Bronn, right? A real show stopper: two men who, after months of training together, now know each other's strengths and weaknesses.

Not to mention, if Jaime's sperm is put in danger, what does this mean for Tywin's grand plan?!