Game of Thrones Season 3: Episode 3 recap

Spoilers ahead

WOAH!

It might not have been the best episode of the series, but damned if it wasn't a pretty fun one.

Sorry for the delay, those of who emailed asking where this recap was. Always nice to feel wanted, though!

There was a real sense of humour about the proceedings in episode 3, with well paced scenes that took their time and seemed to focus on surprisingly human moments in what is rapidly becoming a more fantastic Westeros.

As for that ending, well. A sudden blast to remind you that this Game of Thrones, dammit, don't even think about getting comfortable!

The episode opens with Robb Stark and his ma at Lady Stark's father's funeral, the camera glides slowly over the mourning faces as the funereal boat is sent off down the river. Then Robb's nephew Edmure tries to shoot the flaming arrow to ignite the floating pyre. He misses. Two shots, and some stifled laughter later, he's shoved out of the way by the take-charge swagger of Uncle Blackfish, who, it turns out, is such an accomplished archer that he can take a look at a fluttering flag, squint toward the rapidly diminishing boat and fire true a single flaming arrow. Then, in true hard man fashion, he turns, shoves the bow back into the boy's hands and is walking up the bank before the arrow even lands. Total bad ass. And the second extraordinary archer in as many episodes. Hopefully this leads to some amazing archer vs archer action further down the line. Or maybe there's a fetish site for that.


Blackfish shared a tender quiet moment with his niece Catelyn as they lament the nature of the world they suddenly find themselves in. Catelyn's been pretty reflective lately, blaming herself for the bad fortune coming her family's way. This episode she seems to moving onto a different stage of grief where there might be others to blame. There are!

The Lannisters of King's landing and the rest of the ol' Hand of the King gang gather together for a cute little game of one-upmanship as everyone scampers for the best seat at Tywin's table. It's another fun scene and played dialogue-free for much of it. Then Tyrion gets a surprise promotion to Master of the Coin. For what reason, I don't know. To keep him busy? It does seem an odd choice for Tywin to hand over what seems to me to be quite a huge responsibility to someone he has such disdain for. Am I wrong? Another chance to prove himself worthy of the Lannister name perhaps? Still, good scene.

The Brotherhood don't seem like such bad guys at all with Thoros proving a fairly convivial host. The Hound doesn't get much of a look in either, as he's shoved into a paddy cart. And it's farewell, Hot Pie- maker of the best bread in the land.

I've heard criticisms of the show that it's spending too much time on things of little importance, but not having read the books I can't make that complaint. I've actually really enjoyed how the show has taken its time these last few episodes, giving the characters real moments to be, rather always having them darting with sound purpose. It's nice that the show takes the time to breathe.

Having said that, beyond the wall at Fist of the First Men Jon Snow once again gets almost nothing to do but look unperturbed. Though that spiral of dead horse parts was all kinds of awesome. The news that Mance is sending Jon and some of his colleagues to the wall is a disappointment only because it suggests that the amazing Ciarian Hinds is going to be absent until he starts the "biggest fire in the world!" (or something like that).

Still beyond the wall, Sam and the rest of the Night's Watch return to Craster's decidedly unsexy sex outpost just in time for another baby boy birth. Will Sam man up and take off with the baby boy? Was the girl giving birth the same one he had a crush on last season? I couldn't tell. They didn't share much recognition as far as I could tell.

Another oddly human moment came via Stannis and his Red Woman as she decides she needs to go off and take care of some business. In this scene Melisandre seems unusually ordinary, and all the more interesting for it. There's little, or less, talk of prophesies and true kings, and you get the sense that Stannis is suddenly becoming aware of just how alone he is. It was a brief, but bright moment in the episode.

Dany, meanwhile, is bargaining away one of her dragons in exchange for an army of the Unsullied. What the what?! Her two knights, Ser Jorah and Ser Barristan are as impressed as usual. It's a bold move on Dany's part, but her questions of her new Astapori woman servant suggests that maybe she'll unleash her new found army on the first thing in her path- the Astaporians themselves. And then get her dragon back, presumably. Here's hoping!

Theon escapes with help from his little jailhouse friend, but only seemed to ride as far as A the Appalachian mountains, where he's captured by the local backwater rapist ancestors of those in Deliverance. Miraculously, he is saved by that same little jailhouse friend who is -wait for it- another extraordinary archer! How many superhuman archers are there in Westeros? If they got themselves organised they could probably take out Kings Landing themselves. And from a distance. None of this hand to hand nonsense every seems so interested in.


In another curiously tangential sequence follows Tyrion repaying Pod's heroism at the Battle of Battlewater last season with a gift of some deluxe whorehousing. When Pod returns with the gold coins, having been given the special treatment for free! Will his secret be the subject of another seven episodes of double entrendres? Who cares as long as Peter Dinklage is making them.

And for the first time in long time  ever we might actually feel sorry for Jamie Lannister as he successfully makes up a clever lie(?) to save Brienne's dignity and then suffers for his hubris when an incensed Noah Taylor slices his hand off! Damn! And that was his incest swash-buckling hand! And so the golden rule of Westeros is proven again: it never pays to do the right thing, even when you're one of the bad guys.

And as a final wonderful moment, the irrepressible The Hold Steady performed the closing title song in a move so wildly anachronistic as be pitch perfect. They can sing and murder while they sing.