Game of Thrones Season 3: Episode 1 Recap

Spoilers ahead.

And it's back!

Now featuring: Eunuch soldiers! Giants! Flying dragons! The King beyond the wall! And a little bloody gratitude.

Plus the realisation that this show could really spiral out of control with storylines. Half of the original lead characters didn't even get a look in during this first episode!

Clearly an effort to set up plot lines and character arcs for the new season, this first episode may seem to run a little slow, but I admire the decision to take things at a pace at the beginning. So much is already happening in the big scheme of things that such a drifting approach to the new developments is a keen way to go. You can see the opening stitches for threads that will run through the rest of the season/s. Aside from a frightening moment with a zombie in the opening moments and a sudden attempt on Daenerys' life by a warlock (you may be done with with the warlocks, but the warlocks aren't done with you), the episode unfolds with a steady, intriguing casualness. So many things unfold so simply:

• Sam didn't release the ravens. Uh oh.
• The dragons are getting big. The Dothraki don't sail so good.
• Slave soldiers with no balls can take a nipple slicing in their stride and are available for hire!
• The Red woman is burning men alive.
• Stathis looks like he's being led down the garden path to employing some seriously black magic the next time he enters battle.
• The King beyond the wall is just hanging out with some bros in a tent. It's hard to spot him in a group of three, but it turns out it's the awesome Ciarin Hinds! This show's actor pedigree just got even better.
• Joffrey is as swarmy as ever and still squeals to mummy any chance he gets.
• Margaery is smart enough to start rallying support from the swarms of citizens who might constitute a loyal army for when she decides to take the Iron Throne for herself.
• Tyrion makes an honest attempt to get out of this whole running-the-world business by appealing to his father for a little gratitude. But getting rebuked yet again may set him on a path to some long term family betrayal.
• And oh yeah, there are giants. There's one, wandering by with a pylon.
• No sign of Jamie, Brienne, Theon, Bran or Arya yet. 

The downside to this breeziness and all of the plotlines is that the context gets its face sliced in half and left in a dank cell that no one wants to visit. Too bad if you don't remember what Baelish's current scheme is, where Harrenhaal is located and why everybody's dead, or who Barristan Selmy, one of the greatest soldiers in Westeros is when he's not stabbing fluorescent scorpions. Game of Thrones has got a lot of story to tell- it's not going to slow down just so you can refresh your memory - that's what the internet is for. Thank the new gods!