Game of Thrones Season 3: Episode 7 recap

Spoilers ahead!

The writing reigns were handed over to the creator of the Song of Ice and Fire, George RR Martin himself this episode, and he takes the opportunity to put more more dialogue in the characters mouths than ever before. Things don't progress hugely plot-wise this episode, but we do get a greater sense of who these characters are and what's driving them, and surprisingly, most of it has to do with love in one form or another. But for those who might be turned off by the emotional nature of this episode, there are also 100% more bear fights than usual.

Jon Snow and Ygritte (in love) made it over the wall and are taking the long road to Castle Black for their surprise attack. Things are comparatively summery as the wildlings run across the green hills, wander through the dried shrubs and Ygritte charmingly mistakes a windmill as a castle. Jon goes on to inform Ygritte about other things she's never been exposed to beyond the wall, like the definition of swooning. His explanation is fine, but for most of the women I know, the modern definition would be closer to:

Swooning: Verb: 1. To be emotionally affected by Jon Snow describing how he would rip off the silk dress he made you wear.

Jon also tells Ygritte that the wildings are sure to be defeated in their attack, just like they have the last six times they tried (true? Or more Westeros fairy tales?). Ygritte, unperturbed, decides it's time to make out on a rock.

Robb and his army get stuck in the mud on their way to Walder Frey's castle for Edmure's wedding.
Following a quick discussion about how upset the crotchety Frey is going to be at their lateness, Robb and Talisa (in love) get in a little bit of mid campaign love-making and then a post-coital chat while Talisa lies in the nude and writes to her mother and Robb surveys his game of Risk war plan. The scene plays out fairly typically as a romance sequence, particularly as Talisa reveals that's she's expecting. This prompts Robb to take a 'night off from the war' and climb back into bed and talk about all the places they're going to go 'when all this is over'. But outside the thunder is rumbling. (Literally- thunder rumbles as soon as he climbs into the sack!)

Back in King's Landing, Sansa and Margaery have a staid discussion about Sansa's new betrothal to Tyrion, and the fact that as women, their pleasure is a complicated business. And of course, Tyrion knows a thing or two about this complicated business.

Despite his expertise, Tyrion still finds his situation problematic, and tries to discuss it with his henchman Ser Bronn, who doesn't see what the problem is and so isn't very helpful. Tyrion's girlfriend/lover/funny whore Shae (in love), however, sees nothing but a problem, and walks out when Tyrion fails to convince her that everything is going to be fine. She's right, of course. This is Westeros, nothing is ever fine.

A wonderful scene where Tywin visits with King Joffrey gives us a brief, but satisfying opportunity to see the little twat cower when Tywin, uninvited, walks up to the throne to stand over the young King. We do learn that news of the Dany and her dragons has reached King's Landing, and that Tywin doesn't think this is anything to worry about. The comeuppance train is boarding!


Speaking of the dragons, the unsullied army have arrived in Yunkai, the yellow city, with intentions to raid it for its slaves, or you know, just negotiate to have them all released in exchange for letting the masters live. The Yunkai emissary gets introduced to  Daenerys, the woman whose title is a bit of a mouthful, but whose business card would pull some serious rank.

Needless to say, the emissary gets run off with a warning to release the slaves or suffer the consequences. He's seen the already sizable dragons, so he knows Khalessi is serious (and satisfyingy smug), though news that the Yukari have 'powerful friends' doesn't exactly bode well.

Meanwhile, the Red Woman gives Gendry a personal history lesson as they float out over the broken bodies of ships in Blackwater Bay. Melisandre is treating him with more respect than she's shown pretty much anyone, so perhaps things are finally on the up for the bastard blacksmith? Of course, 'on the up' in this instance may mean using his royal seed to help birth a few more smoke assassins. It's a  mixed bag, is what I'm saying.

Arya's had enough of the Brotherhood of Banners and their pragmatic approach to honour and decides it's time to bolt to freedom. Wouldn't you know it though? She's not a hundred feet away before the Hound lunges out of the dark and grabs her. We already know he's on Arya's To Kill list, so what will it take for her to soften on him? Can he convince her that's not all bad- he saved her sister from a band of rampaging Kings Landing-ans (?), after all.

Bran's story finally takes a solid direction, as we realise that despite his brother Jon not being at Castle Black, the young troupe of the gifted are still planning to head beyond the wall in search of Bran's raven. Osha's had enough of this mystic crap and by way of a horrific zombie back story tries to convince her young companions that north of the wall is no place for man. It doesn't have quite the impact of Jaime's amazing monologue from episode five, but it shades Osha's character in new, tragic ways.

Theon's nightmarish storyline only gets more insane as he gets briefly seduced by a couple of women (in lust, briefly) before his wild-eyed torturer appears once again with a custom made castration knife. What the hell is going on?

Briene and Jaime (not in love exactly, but utterly committed to each other) have a nice scene as they farewell one another. Brienne, stoic as ever, releases Jaime from his debt, as he swears to return the Stark girls to their family. His choked-up inability to reply to Brienne's final 'Farewell, Ser Jaime' sends pangs to the heart.

It's on the way from Harrenhaal as the disgraced maester Qyburn treats Jaime's stumb for seepage that he is told that Brienne's father's paltry ransom fee isn't going to save her. Launching into action, he convinces his guards to help him lead a rescue mission to save Brienne from what he assumes will be sexual indignities. Little does he realise that the proclivities of House Bolton men run to more exotic tastes.

So Jaime runs up the walkways of the castle only to find Brienne, dressed in her Sunday finest, not surrounded by rapists, but fighting a giant bear with a wooden sword as the crowd sings 'The Bear and the Maiden Fair'. Which also comes as a bit of a surprise because they've been singing this song all season and I always assumed the 'bear' was some kind of metaphor. Nope, actual bear.

It's the only piece of action this episode, but it's suitably savage, from the claw marks drawn across Brienne's desperate face to the pure spectacle of the many wonderful shots (like below) during the sequence.

We're coming down to the tail end of season three now. The showrunners have been patient, and with an extra eight minutes each episode, have managed to really take their time time setting up all of the story arcs, so that they can finally deliver that big, satisfying climax. But only once we're all slick as baby seals.