Daft Punk: 'Giorgio by Moroder'

One of the best tracks on Daft Punk's epic new album, Random Access Memories is their collaboration with Giorgio Moroder.
Compiled from a interview with the influential composer/producer, the track is a stunning homage to his work in creating 'the sound of the future'.

Take a listen to Giorgio by Moroder. It's fantastic:

Game of Thrones Season 3: Episode 8 recap

 Spoilers ahead!

Episode eight proved to be the wittiest episode this season not least due to the absence of Theon's never-ending torture story. But to ensure that people still sat watching with their legs crossed, they had Melisandre put leeches on Gendry's erect member. Lately, this show has really had it in for penises.

Arya and the Hound don't take too long to make up and start getting along. After deciding against trying to mash in the Hound's already mashy face, they saddle up and Arya grabs a hold of his barrel of a body as they ride toward the Twins and the wedding the whole countryside is talking about. And just in case simply doing the right thing isn't enough to win over Arya and the audience, the Hound gets a great new catch-cry: 'Fuck Joffrey. Fuck the Queen.' Word.

After being tasked to find out just who the Yunkai's 'powerful friends' are, Ser Jorah undertakes a stealth mission to track rumour through the streets, source information on the who, the why and the wh- no, wait, there they are, hanging out in Yunkai city's backyard.

It's the Second Sons, racing their horses fast, slapping the asses of their very clean prostitutes and throwing their weight around as much as possible.

Surely a conjunction of action from the books, the reveal that these guys are hanging around on retainer hits a weird note. Why didn't the envoy just say, 'We've got a horde of mercenaries hanging out round back. They're five minutes walk away. Ten, max. You're bound to run into them.'

Mero, leader of the Second Sons, makes a quick bid for being the most douchey character since Joffrey, but also the most broadly sketched. He basically spends his entire screen time spewing every objectionable thing you've overheard in a bar. Characterisation shorthand, I suppose. And it works, because when his head rolls out onto Daenerys' carpet, all I could think was 'that's what you get for sniffing crotches, man'.

Daenerys also gets what looks to be her new crush, the diamond eyed Daario Naharas, 'the man who always has a choice'. And that choice seems to be between appearing smug or appearing self-satisfied. He's good at both.

What the dragons were doing during all this business?

Melissandre introduces Gendry to Stannis, who had little regard for the bastard, but also sees no need in torturing the boy. Melissandre says that the situation requires the tact of taking a lamb to slaughter. She's done it plenty of times, and they've never seen the knife. So when she ties up Gendry and tosses leeches onto him, I wondered in what why this counts as not seeing the knife? But then that got me thinking- is Stannis going to end up the lamb in this scenario?

Tyrion tries his best to forge some kind of understanding with Sansa in the lead up to their nuptials, and thankfully he finally says the magic words 'I will never hurt you', which finally lets Sansa relax her eternally tensed shoulders.

Margeary tries on a bit of her charm on Cersei, looping her arm in arm and calling her 'sister' (I love the way Cersei tries to pull herself away at first, but, like a Chinese finger trap, Margary's embrace just seems to tighten). It was a pretty stupid thing to do if you've ever met Cersei, but it goes even worse than I expected when Cersei threatens to have Margeary strangled in her sleep for the insult. She's pretty stubborn, ol' Cersei, but it smells a little like burning bridges to be threatening the soon-to-be wife of your son, the King, whose respect for you has waned enormously of late.

Joffrey gets plenty of moments to retain the title of most horrible character by trotting out the indignities one after the other: walking Sansa down the aisle, snatching away Tyrion's footstool at the altar, threatening midnight rape on the wedding night and attempting to cajole the crowd into stripping Sansa and carrying her to her chambers. You win, Joffrey, Mero's got nothing on you.

Olenna proves herself to be the person you most want to sit next to at a wedding, with her hilarious riffing on the inevitable incestuous links soon to be bonded through this spate of marriages.

Tyrion, a mess of drunken forlornness, threatens Joffrey in a moment of impatience, but thanks to Tywin's diplomacy and Tyrion's ability of poke fun at himself, the moment is soon diffused. Even the Lord of Tits and Wine has play by the rules sometimes.

Of course, he then has convince Sansa that's he's a decent fellow at heart and has no interest in sharing her bed 'until she wants him to'. When she asks what happens if she never wants him to, he settles into the couch for the night. Shae barges in in the morning and pulls the pillow from below his head, but gives him a conciliatory glance when she notices the clean bed sheets. It's the subtleties of romance that elude so many people.

When things return to Sam and Gilly and their trip back to the wall, I really wondered why on earth Sam is even trying to light the fire when we all know Gilly's the one who knows about this shit? I thought they were in this together. There's no 'I' in frozen, Gilly. Finally, when she's convinced Sam's not purposely trying to make her feel stupid, she volunteers to light the fire. In like, 5 seconds.

The ravens announce the arrival of a white walker, come to stach away the newborn boy, providing us with a big finish that pays off the dramatic value of that old dagger Sam found in episode six. After having his sword disintegrated by the icey touch of the walker, Sam stabs the zombie in the back with the dagger, the only thing he still has on him. So powerful is this weapon that the zombie collapses and explodes. Amazing weapon! So amazing, it seems, that it's not really worth picking back up.

So here we are, on the precipice of episode nine, traditionally the climax of the season, before episode ten gives us denouement action and sets up the storylines for season four. There's a break next week for the US Memorial Day weekend (viewing figures dipped for the corresponding episode last year, so they're giving it a miss this time) so we will have to wait in anticipation of the resolutions episode nine may give us:

Will Arya get back to her family?
How many teeth will Edmure's bethrothed actually have?
Does Theon find out who's torturing him?
Will the Yunkai be defeated easily?
How will Casterley Rock be taken?
and will anyone ever care about what Loras' father once told him?

Game of Thrones Season 3: Episode 7 recap

Spoilers ahead!

The writing reigns were handed over to the creator of the Song of Ice and Fire, George RR Martin himself this episode, and he takes the opportunity to put more more dialogue in the characters mouths than ever before. Things don't progress hugely plot-wise this episode, but we do get a greater sense of who these characters are and what's driving them, and surprisingly, most of it has to do with love in one form or another. But for those who might be turned off by the emotional nature of this episode, there are also 100% more bear fights than usual.

Jon Snow and Ygritte (in love) made it over the wall and are taking the long road to Castle Black for their surprise attack. Things are comparatively summery as the wildlings run across the green hills, wander through the dried shrubs and Ygritte charmingly mistakes a windmill as a castle. Jon goes on to inform Ygritte about other things she's never been exposed to beyond the wall, like the definition of swooning. His explanation is fine, but for most of the women I know, the modern definition would be closer to:

Swooning: Verb: 1. To be emotionally affected by Jon Snow describing how he would rip off the silk dress he made you wear.

Jon also tells Ygritte that the wildings are sure to be defeated in their attack, just like they have the last six times they tried (true? Or more Westeros fairy tales?). Ygritte, unperturbed, decides it's time to make out on a rock.

Robb and his army get stuck in the mud on their way to Walder Frey's castle for Edmure's wedding.
Following a quick discussion about how upset the crotchety Frey is going to be at their lateness, Robb and Talisa (in love) get in a little bit of mid campaign love-making and then a post-coital chat while Talisa lies in the nude and writes to her mother and Robb surveys his game of Risk war plan. The scene plays out fairly typically as a romance sequence, particularly as Talisa reveals that's she's expecting. This prompts Robb to take a 'night off from the war' and climb back into bed and talk about all the places they're going to go 'when all this is over'. But outside the thunder is rumbling. (Literally- thunder rumbles as soon as he climbs into the sack!)

Back in King's Landing, Sansa and Margaery have a staid discussion about Sansa's new betrothal to Tyrion, and the fact that as women, their pleasure is a complicated business. And of course, Tyrion knows a thing or two about this complicated business.

Despite his expertise, Tyrion still finds his situation problematic, and tries to discuss it with his henchman Ser Bronn, who doesn't see what the problem is and so isn't very helpful. Tyrion's girlfriend/lover/funny whore Shae (in love), however, sees nothing but a problem, and walks out when Tyrion fails to convince her that everything is going to be fine. She's right, of course. This is Westeros, nothing is ever fine.

A wonderful scene where Tywin visits with King Joffrey gives us a brief, but satisfying opportunity to see the little twat cower when Tywin, uninvited, walks up to the throne to stand over the young King. We do learn that news of the Dany and her dragons has reached King's Landing, and that Tywin doesn't think this is anything to worry about. The comeuppance train is boarding!


Speaking of the dragons, the unsullied army have arrived in Yunkai, the yellow city, with intentions to raid it for its slaves, or you know, just negotiate to have them all released in exchange for letting the masters live. The Yunkai emissary gets introduced to  Daenerys, the woman whose title is a bit of a mouthful, but whose business card would pull some serious rank.

Needless to say, the emissary gets run off with a warning to release the slaves or suffer the consequences. He's seen the already sizable dragons, so he knows Khalessi is serious (and satisfyingy smug), though news that the Yukari have 'powerful friends' doesn't exactly bode well.

Meanwhile, the Red Woman gives Gendry a personal history lesson as they float out over the broken bodies of ships in Blackwater Bay. Melisandre is treating him with more respect than she's shown pretty much anyone, so perhaps things are finally on the up for the bastard blacksmith? Of course, 'on the up' in this instance may mean using his royal seed to help birth a few more smoke assassins. It's a  mixed bag, is what I'm saying.

Arya's had enough of the Brotherhood of Banners and their pragmatic approach to honour and decides it's time to bolt to freedom. Wouldn't you know it though? She's not a hundred feet away before the Hound lunges out of the dark and grabs her. We already know he's on Arya's To Kill list, so what will it take for her to soften on him? Can he convince her that's not all bad- he saved her sister from a band of rampaging Kings Landing-ans (?), after all.

Bran's story finally takes a solid direction, as we realise that despite his brother Jon not being at Castle Black, the young troupe of the gifted are still planning to head beyond the wall in search of Bran's raven. Osha's had enough of this mystic crap and by way of a horrific zombie back story tries to convince her young companions that north of the wall is no place for man. It doesn't have quite the impact of Jaime's amazing monologue from episode five, but it shades Osha's character in new, tragic ways.

Theon's nightmarish storyline only gets more insane as he gets briefly seduced by a couple of women (in lust, briefly) before his wild-eyed torturer appears once again with a custom made castration knife. What the hell is going on?

Briene and Jaime (not in love exactly, but utterly committed to each other) have a nice scene as they farewell one another. Brienne, stoic as ever, releases Jaime from his debt, as he swears to return the Stark girls to their family. His choked-up inability to reply to Brienne's final 'Farewell, Ser Jaime' sends pangs to the heart.

It's on the way from Harrenhaal as the disgraced maester Qyburn treats Jaime's stumb for seepage that he is told that Brienne's father's paltry ransom fee isn't going to save her. Launching into action, he convinces his guards to help him lead a rescue mission to save Brienne from what he assumes will be sexual indignities. Little does he realise that the proclivities of House Bolton men run to more exotic tastes.

So Jaime runs up the walkways of the castle only to find Brienne, dressed in her Sunday finest, not surrounded by rapists, but fighting a giant bear with a wooden sword as the crowd sings 'The Bear and the Maiden Fair'. Which also comes as a bit of a surprise because they've been singing this song all season and I always assumed the 'bear' was some kind of metaphor. Nope, actual bear.

It's the only piece of action this episode, but it's suitably savage, from the claw marks drawn across Brienne's desperate face to the pure spectacle of the many wonderful shots (like below) during the sequence.

We're coming down to the tail end of season three now. The showrunners have been patient, and with an extra eight minutes each episode, have managed to really take their time time setting up all of the story arcs, so that they can finally deliver that big, satisfying climax. But only once we're all slick as baby seals.

Arrested Development Season 4 full trailer

Some of the cast look older, while others look eerily the same (and Michael Cera actually appears to have grown younger), but everything feels right about this first full length trailer for the sort-of-forth season of Arrested Development.

To borrow a line from Jeffrey Tambor's other signature role - This is exciting, isn't it?

Alfonso Cuaron's Gravity: first trailer

After the incredible Children of Men (7 years ago!), it's exhilarating to think of what Director Alfonso Cuaron could achieve on a canvas this size.

Along with Pacific Rim, Gravity looks like the very thing IMAX 3D was made for. (It also looks like the stuff of nightmares).

Hit expand and watch this thing full screen. This is really going to be something.

Ghostpoet's new album stream

 

Ghospoet's first album Peanut Butter Blues & Melancholy Jam was one of the best surprises of 2011, so it's great that upon the first few listens, his sophomore effort, Some Say I So I Say Light really seems to deliver.

Stream the whole record below and hear for yourself:

The National's new single & its Russian inspiration

The National's latest single Sea of Love comes with a one-shot video:

Which is inspired, by this Russian punk bands (whose name I think translates as 'Sound of Mu'?) old video. Which is even better!

The World's End trailer

From from Edgar Wright, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, the creators of Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz, the final film in the Cornetto trilogy The World's End is nearly here. Naturally, pubs are involved quite heavily. Watch the trailer below:

Neutral Milk Hotel to play Harvest Festival

Well, good goddamn, that was fast.

A mere week after officially announcing their reunion tour, Neutral Milk Hotel are confirmed for a headline slot at the best-run festival in town:

Harvest festival dates:

Sunday 10 November – Melbourne
Saturday 16 November  – Sydney
Sunday 17 November – Brisbane

Amazing news as Harvest continues its run of having some of the best festival line-ups around.

Game of Thrones Season 3: Episode 6 recap

Spoilers ahead!

At the end of this episode, Baelish and Varys offer differing opinions as to the nature of chaos. Is chaos a ladder or a pit? Do you climb or wallow? In a lot of ways it doesn't really matter, because the choices these characters make rarely makes things easier for them.

The creepy kid brigade is resting in the forest on the way to the Wall, with a pissing contest between Osha, the amazing rabbit skinner and Meera Reed, the amazing rabbit hunter. Bran watches Jojen Reed have a vision and so learns that having the gift of second sight is a little like having the gift of epilepsy.

About that aforementioned vision - is Jojen's familar a raven? If so, they aren't exactly the most sophisticated of familiars are they? They can tell Jojen that Jon Snow 'is surrounded by enemies' (half correct, but a fair enough assessment for an animal), but can't seem to convey information such as activity or location. Of course, if they did, it probably wouldn't have quite the same dramatic ring to it- shuddering awake through a visionary fit and saying "I saw Jon Snow, surrounded by enemies. He's preparing to climb the wall. He should be over pretty soon. We may as well wait here, I guess."

Sam gets tips from Gilly on how to be a good scout while on the run from Craster's Keep, and reveals the 'buried treasure' he found at Fist of the First Men. The moment plays in that subtle way that suggests this dagger will have significant dramatic value but we're acting casual as though it's not. But I could be projecting.

The 'proper lover' Jon Snow and Ygritte prepare for an epic sequence climbing the wall. This, I realised, is one of the most prolonged action scenes yet in this series (discounting the Battle of Blackwater whole-episode-action-sequence). Due to budgetary restraints the show often only depicts smaller skirmishes and instances of personal violence rather than big battle scenes. This was a chance for the show to stretch its legs a little with a series of scenes over the course of the episode that followed Jon and the gang ascending the wall. It felt properly epic in a way that the show has sometimes struggled to convey.


Arya's talent for striking at the 'face, tits and balls' (a solid set of principles in any discipline) of her straw men prompts a little advice from Anguy the archer, but she's clearly coming along. Her growing list of people she'd like to kill gets a new addition when the Red Woman turns up in the middle of the forest wanting to trade some gold for Gendry, the true heir to the throne and vessel for Baratheon blood. Two things sure to make life hard for you in Westeros: being the heir to anything, and being the heir of anyone.

Checking in on poor young Theon, who is nothing if not the one true King of Rude Awakenings, who has another terrible morning having his fingers flayed by his oblique torturer.

Robb's trying to gather forces for an attack on Casterly Rock, but Walder Frey's terms of alliance mean a formal apology for not marrying his daughter, transfer of ownership of Harrenhaal and the quick engagement of Rob's uncle Edmure to one of Frey's other daughters. Edmure balks at the suggestion, which one of Frey's sons takes as some uppity attitude towards the amount of teeth possessed by the 19 year old bride-to-be. You suspect it's not a retaliatory response. From the looks of them a full set of teeth might be a girl's defining asset. In the rougher parts of Westeros perhaps blondes are to brunettes as teeth are to gum disease.

Tywin and Lady Olenna meet in the former's chambers for a tete-à-tete about the future of the realm. The easy naturalism of the performances is the greatest thing about this scene. Charles Dance and Diana Rigg are so perfect in their roles they should have a bottle episode all their own. Stick them in a room and let them trade amazing euphemisms for 50 minutes. It would be an acting masterclass.  Plus you'd have the novelty value of elder actors dropping lines like 'He's a sword swallower through and through' in the mix.

Jaime and Brienne dine with Lord Bolton and we discover the real reason behind Bolton's civility is his totally understandable fear of Jaime's father. Good call. Things don't bode so well for Brienne however, as Bolton views her as a traitor to the King of North and aims to do something about it. Jaime calmly placing his hand on Brienne's knife-gripping fist was a nice moment. Cue: Jaime's slow progress towards becoming a hero.

We're robbed of what would surely be an hilarious scene of Tyrion fumbling his way through explaining how Sansa is now his bethrothed, right in front of his lover, Shae. I'm wondering whether this decision was based on the fact that the switch in tone from a wacky case of misunderstandings to the tragic St Sebastian-esque corpse of Ros would have been too difficult to pull off.

Poor Ros, who truly deserved a more worthy send-off than a mere voice-overed shot of her hanging limp and punctured like one of Arya's straw men. The effect was shocking, sure, but it was way too insubstantial for a great character we've been watching climb the ladder since the very first episode of the show.

Baelish and Varys have their minor final stand-off before an appropriately cinematic finish of Sansa tearing up as she watches Baelish's ship sail out of the bay and her dreams of escape fading with the same. I know it all seems pretty dire, but short of a sham wedding with Loras, hooking up with Tyrion is still probably the best option left to her. But only, you know, if Shae is into it.

Capping everything off, we have the stunning vista of the northern woodlands spread out into the distance, the sun breaking triumphantly through the clouds, and stood atop the Wall, Ygritte and Jon embracing as he seductively whispers "Hey, I think I can see my crippled half-brother from here."

True Blood Season 6 trailer

A real sense of direction, a new character played by Rutger Hauer, and the suggestion that 'this is the beginning of the end' are the three things worth looking forward to in the upcoming season of True Blood. Or at least that's what the season six trailer leads me to believe.

The argument could also be made that there seems to be plenty of the ol' sex and ultra violence to fall back on as well, but really, even that has only barely managed to keep me strapped in for the past five seasons.

Because True Blood is trash and it always has been. But for a long while there it was really fun, refreshing trash that had a game cast of actors willing to say and do the most preposterous things in pursuit of a thrill or a laugh.

You might wonder if it was all worth the effort, but at least you had a good time watching it.

That is, until the last two seasons gave the overwhelming sense that we're all just being strung along.

Falling into long, tedious storylines with plots seemingly pieced together from deleted scenes, the show's storytelling took on a real 'see what sticks' mentality. And not just season to season - but scene to scene. Storylines were picked up and cast away as readily as an eager young fangbanger.

Here's hoping that season six is an improvement.

You can watch the trailer below:

Tunes!

After their recent tour Wild Nothing already have a new EP coming out, and they've released the first single from it: Dancing Shell. Sounds like they've been listening to a lot of old Peter Gabriel albums.




Have a listen to James Blake's collaboration with the RZA, which works way better than I would have expected: Take A Fall for Me



And check the great video (originally commissioned in 1986 as an anti drink-driving video in Finland!) for the kinetic new track Magnetic North by K-X-P:

Lars Von Trier's Nymphomaniac poster

Oh, Lars, you cheeky bugger:

And a trailer perhaps on May 16? www.nymphomaniacthemovie.com/

Neutral Milk Hotel reunite, announce tour

Abruptly going on indefinite hiatus just when their masterpiece In the Aeroplane Over The Sea was gaining some success in the late nineties, the only thing we've heard from Neutral Milk Hotel in the intervening years are some occasional, low key solo performances from leader Jeff Mangum.

Until this week it was pretty much all you could hope for. So it is truly remarkable news that this band, whose incredible influence can be heard across the albums of Beirut, Arcade Fire and The Decemberists, has reformed for a worldwide(ish) tour.

And the fact that of the handful of already announced dates,  shows Japan and Taiwan at the end of year strongly suggests appearances in Australia and New Zealand. (I reason: why go all the way to Japan if you're not going to come to Australia?).

Perfect timing (and style) for an appearance at Meredith Festival perhaps, and hopefully a slew of proper sideshows throughout the county. Fingers crossed.

If you haven't heard them before, you can download / stream a couple of tracks below. But really, nothing compares to spending some quality time immersed in one of their full length, visceral albums. Context is everything.

Right click to download: Holland, 1945

Stream the title track from In the Aeroplane Over The Sea:

Game of Thrones Season 3: Episode 5 recap

Spoilers ahead!

In what may be the fastest 'slow' episode in the show's history, we got everything everyone loves about Game of Thrones. Sex, violence, gore, nudity, political intrigue and a whole lot of human drama in what was surely one of the finest episodes of all three seasons.

Keeping to a relatively small cluster of characters, each sequence echoed earlier moments and signalled major things to come. While the Westeros world has grown this season, the episode actually managed to make it feel a little smaller, with superb character moments and some great transition editing.

We open with The Hound going head to head with Beric Dondarrion in the Brotherhood without banners secret lair.  This was a great fight scene. The whole sequence exuded a palpable sense of danger, more like a cage fight, with the fighters natural skill impeded by the uneven surroundings. Of course, Dondarrion had a slight advantage over the Hound by using a sword of flames. It does seem a mite unfair to fight a man with a fear of fire with the very thing he can't stand. It's like fighting Ned Stark with a knife made of deceit or battling Joffrey with a crossbow of being-put-in-your-place.

Despite the flames, The Hound still manages to best Dondarrion with a masterful slash through the torso. Thoros of Myr runs to his aide, babbling prayers to the Lord of Light. And to the surprise of all the newcomers, manages to resurrect him. Whuuuuuut?!

Add this to the growing list of Things that Turn People Off Game of Thrones Because They Didn't Expect this Fantasy Show to Include Actual Fantasy:

• Actual Magic
• Actual Dragons
• Actual Giants
• Actual resurrection of the dead (other than zombies)

Lessons learned: The Lord of Light has some serious chops. And he's cool with The Hound.

Cut to: How to Survive Beyond The Wall Without Really Trying with Jon Snow and the gang. He's grilled by his new bros about the defences along the wall only be accused of lying when he outlines what he knows. Inevitably this leads to a bit of masculine threat-making. All this stand-offishness is enough to excite Ygritte who, in a bravura act of wildling flirting, steals Jon's sword with the aim of sheathing Jon's sword (Rim shot!). They hang out in a comfortable hot spring sauna that is, despite the obvious unpleasant conditions outside, completely empty of all other wildlings. Perhaps they have a booking system?

The worse-for-wear Jaime and Brienne are presented to Lord Bolton, who, despite subtle jabs at Jaime's sexual proclivities, appears to be a reasonable kind of guy. After Jaime undergoes a bout of excruciating stump surgery to save the rest of his arm from the 'corruption', the unlikely duo share a revealing bath together. In what ends up being one of the very best scenes this season, Jaime gets a superb, enthralling monologue revealing the true origins of his nickname the Kingslayer. It's the kind of scene a lesser show would cut to flashback for. What we get is a beautifully lensed, wonderfully played, subtle shot-reverse-shot sequence that retrains an stunning amount of power. It's really great stuff.

Tyrion meets with Lady Olenna, and for the first time seems truly outmatched in sparring terms (other than when his father's wailing on him). Rather than play games, Lady Olenna relents and agrees to foot half the bill for the royal wedding. Since this was pretty much what Tyrion was after, chalk this meeting up as a success for the new Master of the Coin!

Arya, still hurting from seeing The Hound released, reaches out and tries to forge a familial connection with Gendry, but in a heartbreaking moment of rejection, Gendry declares that his place is with the Brotherhood. Mulling over her situation and running through her considerable list of people she wants vengeance upon, she joins Beric Dondarrion and Thoros of Myr for a refreshingly casual but sobering discussion with Arya about the ups and downs of being brought back from the dead. It doesn't exactly cheer her up.

Over at Riverrun, it's all melodrama, all the time, as Lord Kanstark leads a raid on the cells of the young Lannister boy hostages, killing the guards and then the boys as revenge for his own dead kin. That was sudden! But it also gave some context to that scene a few episodes ago when Talisa made nice with the young boys as she treated their wounds. Game of Thrones wants you to know who's getting killed so you can feel it.

Robb is understandably furious that his authority has been undermined and that two young boys have been murdered on his watch. As a result he gets to yell and scream, throw goblets of wine, make portentous statements as thunder rumbles in the background, and finally lop off Kanstark's head and skulk away in the rain very seriously. It all pays off though, when Robb stumbles upon a new plan of attack in his war with the Lannisters, but it sounds like it might get a little awkward as he needs to appeal to the father of his formally betrothed.

Stannis Baratheon's been licking his wounds and wondering where it all went wrong for him. His transgressions seem to be weighing on him so he goes to confess to his crazy wife in the attic, Selyse, who, it turns out, is a more zealot Lord of the Lighter than Stannis himself.  She speaks warmly of the fact that the Red Woman managed to give her husband a living son, but presumably she's not aware that that baby boy was less a thumb-sucking infant than a ghostly demon assassin that was alive for, what, 5 minutes?

If it's legacy you want, Stannis, you should probably look elsewhere. Like maybe your neglected young daughter?

A young daughter, who, like her mother, appears to be locked in a room, but seemingly has no trouble getting out of it, as we see later when she secretly visits the Onion Knight (has he been called that before?), Ser Davos, in the dungeon. The young princess seems to have a scaly birth mark (?) on her face which I presume is the reason she's kept out of sight? (So many questions!) But she's a bright, compassionate young thing and makes it her new mission to help Davos learn how to read while he's locked in the dungeon. Awwww. New favourite character!

I forgot that the only person Littlefinger cares about is himself, so I was way off on the possibility that Baelish would lose his cool when he discovered the plot to keep Sansa from him. He merely took it quietly in his stead, employed a hot young hustler to get the goss from Loras himself and then passed the info back to Cersei, who is still trying her best to impress Daddy.

So at the end of this episode, Tywin takes this news as another strategic opportunity, and drops a couple of bombs:
Tyrion will marry and 'put a baby inside' Sansa to help secure the north.
BOOM.
And Cersei will marry Loras, effectively becoming a 'broodmare'.
KA-BOOM.
Mic drop.
Tywin out.